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About Hamilton

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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When I get there, he’s sitting outside, looking all sheepish. I can’t help but laugh. “You really need to keep track of your stuff, mate.” We grab a pint, and I’m just glad to unwind. The sun’s setting, and Upper Hutt looks beautiful. The hills, the river, it’s all just... perfect.

Upper Hutt jump in consented homes beats Wellington region